“There’s a reason for that.”
This phrase can be followed with attempts to find someone to blame or stories about karma and boomerang. A person who says these words believes that there is always a reason for everything, even if the situation is accidental.
- A better way to say this would be, “I wish I could say something that will take away your pain, but I don’t think I can. But I am always here to listen to you.”
“You might not want to listen to me, but I’m going to say this anyway.”
The person you’re talking to doesn’t give you any choice, violates your boundaries, and blames your negative reaction on you. They want to show that they are right and that it’s your fault that you listen to them and experience unpleasant emotions.
- A better way to say this would be, “I am with you.”
“It’s nothing! Don’t worry about it!”
This phrase devalues your feelings and everything that is important to you. This attempt to support you is heartless and useless. You will feel that your experience and feelings are being neglected. In other words, your feelings are not important, interesting, or essential.
- A better way to say this would be, “When I felt bad, you helped and supported me. Now it’s my turn to support you.”
“The things that don’t kill you make you stronger.”
Usually, at this moment we feel powerless, and these phrases don’t help raise our spirit. After these words, a person may experience even greater anxiety and doubts in their own abilities. Psychologists say that about 70% of people experience severe psychological trauma in their lifetime. If negative events could really make us stronger, we would all be superhuman.
- A better way to say this would be, “What happened to you is awful.”
How do your friends and family support you when you feel bad? Tell us in the comments below.